My mother slipped last week into a hypo-active delirium; she decided to stop eating and drinking. It all happened rather suddenly, and her physician thought it might have been precipitated by the flu shot. At first, I was angry, wanting to know what had happened to cause this decline. Then I realized it didn’t matter. What matters now is helping her have a comfortable end-of-life.
Sometimes the universe conspires in wondrous ways, and I had recently been reading about the various ways that people with Alzheimer’s can suffer in their final months/weeks/days. Although it’s incredibly hard to witness in someone you love, when the body shuts down, it’s not the worst thing; in fact, it is considered one of the more humane exits for us mere mortals, given our limited control over these matters. In any case, just knowing this gave me comfort. As if my mother has, indeed, chosen this — and will thus (and hopefully) not be challenged with pneumonia, aspiration, or other late-stage complications. I know I’m rationalizing, I’m aware of that, on some level. It’s how we survive grief.
The range of emotions I am experiencing right now is astonishing. Love is a very, very complex energy. I cling tight to its positive flow, and I will cling to and embrace these final moments with my beautiful, strong, brave Mother, who has been my hero and my champion for these past three years and, for that matter, my entire life.
The family will help my father navigate the coming days. He’s going to need a lot of support. My older sister has arrived from out-of-town. I’m a bundle of nerves and sadness and yearning and angst, but ready to take this on, with my big heart on my sleeve and a Kleenex tucked up it (in honour of my mother, who was always magically producing tissues from her clothing, her pocket or her purse, whenever someone was in need.)
We welcome your positive thoughts and loving energy at this time, and for all family members in a similar situation with their loved ones, please know that my thoughts are with you, too.
5 thoughts on “Lesson #37: You Just Never Know”
Ahhh Lorrie. I’m shocked and sad to read about this news of your Mom. It is very very sad for you and your entire family. Your dad will need everyone’s love and patience and understanding in helping him deal with this incredible loss. The upcoming days will no doubt be difficult and sometimes unbearable. I send you my love and all the positive energy and thoughts I can. Sympathy to all the family. Love you brave girl.
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Dear Lorrie,Cathy,Suzzie,Lynn,Bobby & Marcel. My heart goes out to all of you & I will keep you in my prayers. My dear, dear friend so sad! I was able to reach Jil; she is staying with her daughter because Johnny is recovering from a hip replacement. She will phone. Take care. Luv Carole
“The range of emotions I am experiencing right now is astonishing. Love is a very, very complex energy.”
Everyone is exactly where they are meant to be. You have done everything it was in your power to do. Everyone is okay.
Sending you positive energy and love ❤
Hi Bev and Marcel & family
It was really great to talk to Bev on my birthday and then to talk to Bob.
I wish I could be in Montreal to see you all but it’s impossible for me to travel by train anymore so I just wanted to send my warmest wishes to you all and you are all in my thoughts. Lots of Love, Marilyn xoxoxo
Hi Lorrie – I’m so sorry to hear about Bev. You have been so brave to take on both of your parents at the same time – I can’t imagine!
I have such fond memories of both Bev and Marcel – such fun people!
Thinking of you and sending positive vibes to you filled with strength and patience.
Love, Cousin Karen