Happiness is a choice. Once you grasp the enormity of that, once you fully understand the implications of it, you can’t (and shouldn’t) let go. Because all throughout your life, at any given moment, in any place on this planet, no matter what the situation you find yourself in… you make the decision, consciously or not. … More Lesson #29: Hope Springs a Kernel
I’m putting myself right out there with other family caregivers today, and admitting that I’ve been fiercely protecting my “me-time” this month… those oh-so-valuable hours when I can push away my worrying, do something positive, take time to recharge, and shrug off the heavy emotions that weigh me down daily. … More Lesson #23: Guilt, Grieving and Giving In
Heightened awareness can be a bitch.
You know that feeling, right? A topic starts trending, everyone is talking about it, and before long, it’s “top of mind” in your own little world. … More Lesson #19: You Are What You Eat
The other day I walked quickly before a rainfall to secure a lone taxi. I was just behind a man who, as it turned out, also needed the taxi. A rare gentleman, he asked me where I was headed and offered to share his ride. As we awkwardly made small talk in the back seat of the cab, I mentioned that I had moved to the area to care for my parents, both with dementia and Alzheimer’s. … More Lesson #17: Help Help Help!
I have been in a mild depression for weeks, without any creative energy to lift me up and out. I’m no stranger to depression; it’s not the first or last time. When I was working for clients, it was relatively easy to take the time necessary to recoup and recharge. Nobody needed to know that I was down and out, except the people I trust to love and support me during those times. Now that I’m a valued caregiver, though, I can’t just “not show up”, and showing up with a positive frame of mind is more important than ever… … More Lesson #10: Just Show Up
I suspect that many caregivers live in a state of suspended animation, as if their own life is on hold. I’ve had this feeling a few times in the past two years — I turn 60 this year, and I know I should be planning my retirement, but it doesn’t seem appropriate or feasible. I keep renewing the lease on my apartment thinking – how permanent is this living arrangement? How long will my parents need me? It’s impossible to know. … More Lesson #9: Who, Me?
“Oh, that’s horrible! How awful. You must be devastated.”
This is a typical reaction when I tell people that my parents were diagnosed with dementia. “Both of them?” Yes, both of them. And when I tell people that I put my career on hold to become their primary caregiver, the response is varied but still predictable. Shock and awe. Sympathy. Curiosity. In a few rare instances, an immediate empathic understanding. But also the complete opposite; some people look at me as if I’ve gone a bit crazy, or am about to tell them the rest of the joke. You’re kidding, right? … More Lesson #5: Ditch the Dreaded “D” Words