Lesson #31: Let Them Eat Cake

I want to dedicate this to mon cher Papa, who isn’t often the focus of my blog posts. He’s just so easy to care for that he factors less in the specificity of “lessons learned”, in terms of caregiving challenges. And yet I’m learning so much from him … More Lesson #31: Let Them Eat Cake

Lesson #22: The Stink of Stigma

I became interested in Zach Anner, an up-and-coming YouTube celebrity, because of my friend Christine. She, too, lives life from a wheelchair, diagnosed with cerebral palsy at birth. Currently working on her autobiography, Christine’s memoir opens with “It was lonely being a child in a wheelchair. I was bullied.” In an online interview with Oprah, when asked to identify his biggest challenge, Zach makes a touching admission: “Figuring out that I’m worth this experience, because it’s hard for me to accept that I might deserve this.”  … More Lesson #22: The Stink of Stigma

Lesson #13: Don’t Forget To Laugh

My mother was often my first phone call when I was pissed at a colleague, thrilled about a new writing challenge, or just feeling blue and needing some cheer. She’s been there from day one, helping me put things in perspective and providing unconditional love. My Dad, too, has always been a kind and generous mentor, advising me in my career and with financial matters. I can’t thank my parents enough for j … More Lesson #13: Don’t Forget To Laugh

Lesson #8: My Heart Went BLOOM

I had just arrived at my parent’s home for an afternoon of caregiving. Dad was in the garage, and when my car pulled in, he walked up the driveway to greet me. I’m not sure what it was – the big, smiling welcome on his face, the hunch of his shoulders, the sag of his pants, the enthusiasm in his watery, old eyes – but my heart lept into my chest and my throat tightened. I felt I was witnessing, in that flash, the transient nature of life, and its vital yet dwindling presence in this beautiful man, this very moment, this time-honoured soul. … More Lesson #8: My Heart Went BLOOM

Lesson #5: Ditch the Dreaded “D” Words

“Oh, that’s horrible! How awful. You must be devastated.”

This is a typical reaction when I tell people that my parents were diagnosed with dementia. “Both of them?” Yes, both of them. And when I tell people that I put my career on hold to become their primary caregiver, the response is varied but still predictable. Shock and awe. Sympathy. Curiosity. In a few rare instances, an immediate empathic understanding. But also the complete opposite; some people look at me as if I’ve gone a bit crazy, or am about to tell them the rest of the joke. You’re kidding, right? … More Lesson #5: Ditch the Dreaded “D” Words